Living life like a dog

I read recently that people should live like every day is Saturday. I'm not convinced. The morning might begin with sleeping past 6:30 a.m. and fresh brewed coffee, but the rest of the day it's go, go, go. My Saturdays are filled with grocery shopping, driving to the dump, housekeeping, laundry and bill paying as well as shoveling, raking, mowing and picking up dog poop in my yard. (Full disclosure my wonderful husband usually picks up the dog poop.) And when my kids were younger we added a host of scheduled events like girl scouts, t-ball, soccer practice, birthday parties and recreational basketball games. In general, my Saturdays are more like running on a hamster wheel than a good example of me living mindfully. If I lived every day like it were Saturday, I'd be an exhausted wreck.

Oh, but if I were a Chocolate Labrador Retriever living with my sister, I'd live every day like its Saturday. My sister's dog's name is Lucky as in --cue the baby talk-- "Who's a Lucky Dog?" All the human members of her family work and/or go to school full time; but not on Saturday. If the sun has risen and the people are still in the house – then it must be Saturday—time to party!! And this beautiful pup knows how to celebrate the weekend. Lucky's day will include some morning stretching, two walks (at least one in the woods), play-time with her family and naps.

This is Lucky Dog!

Dogs can be really mindful creatures. They live dedicated to the moment; whether they're chasing squirrels or enjoying a good belly rub. Lucky Dog is no exception. She greets everyone with love. She looks in your eyes and listens when you talk. She sits quietly on your feet when you need connection. And she acts like she's won the lottery when you give her a dry biscuit. So when things get chaotic I remind myself to strive to enjoy life like Lucky Dog on a Saturday; stretch, go for a walk, play with my family and maybe take a nap.

Feeding Happiness

Happiness is not permanent.  For you to have happiness, and also to continue to experience happiness, you must nourish it.  How do you feed your happiness?

Happiness can be found in simple things.  An expression of sheer joy on an infants’ face can lighten your heart.  A walk in nature observing the beauty all around you can lift your mood.  The sound of laughter is sometimes infectious.  Smells and sounds from cooking foods can warm your soul.

In moments like these, happiness is easy.  Feeding your happiness during these times is a piece of cake.  Unfortunately happy moments can be replaced with difficulties.  Too often we are exposed to negativity that causes pain and suffering.  We face stressful daily challenges.  We hear horrific tragedies and witness suffering in both our personal lives and in the news.  We watch with great sadness as a loved one goes through a traumatic experience.  Nourishing happiness during these periods is far more demanding.  But still, it can be done.

During these times, I practice mindfulness. Focusing on my breath allows me to be present in the moment.  Being conscious of breath brings my mind home so that I can become free of the distractions of my thoughts and emotions.  I follow my breath in and out and become aware of the movement in my body as I breathe.  I try to let go of all that does not serve the present moment and feel my body relax to become one with my mind. 

Mindfulness will not shelter you from difficult feelings and situations; but it can put them all in context.  Mindful awareness cultivates compassion and understanding.  Compassion and understanding lead to acceptance and peace.  This is why it’s so important to practice mindfulness every day; to continue to be present in this moment.  This is how I feed my happiness. 

Make it a point to feed your happiness every day. Without daily nourishment, we weaken our ability to be present and to be at peace.  We starve our happiness and find ourselves swirling in thoughts wrought with worries and stress.  We begin to react instead of respond.  We hurt those we love, including ourselves.

Some days you won't have a lot of spare time.  Take a few deep breaths anyway, and practice being aware of your thoughts and actions.  On difficult days, you may feel discouraged with your personal challenges.  Practice for a few moments, several times releasing your thoughts and being present.  When you find yourself already happy continue to make time for your mindfulness practice, allow the feeling of joy to spread through you and those around you as you breathe.  Over time, you will discover that your mindfulness practice helps to bring balance feeding your happiness even during turbulent times.  Vivian Greene said it best:

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass; it’s about learning to dance in the rain.”

Wisdom 2.0

“We do not fight the darkness.  We are farmers of the light.”  Jewel Kilcher

Inner Explorer was chosen to speak on the People’s Stage at the recent Wisdom 2.0 Conference in San Francisco, CA.  I was asked to accompany my teammates to the Palace of Fine Arts and share in the opportunity to make contacts and engage in conversation with hopes of furthering our efforts of bringing mindfulness into classrooms.  I had no idea what to expect.

I am very much an observer.  My brain works best when I can watch people’s interactions and conversations.  My strengths lie in percolating thoughts and piecing them together to form new ideas and directions to enhance our current methodology.

Wisdom 2.0 was not a meeting of brains; this was a meeting of hearts.

I found myself face to face with people who were making a positive impact in this world by raising awareness of the importance of mindfulness.  There is nothing more energizing than charismatic souls joining forces to serve the greater good.  An urgent feeling of action pressed me forward from the comfort of the background and into introductions and conversations with like-minded individuals. I found myself fueled by other’s own enthusiasm, questions and ideas to deepen connections and provide details about Inner Explorer and the impact we have in the classrooms that use our program.  Specific examples of situations where children have shared their stories of how mindfulness has impacted their lives surfaced in every interaction with conference attendees.  There are so many stories to share; we have had beautiful feedback from students of all ages that highlight the importance and growing need of better social and emotional learning tools to break through the toxic stress that so many children are exposed to regularly.  Each and every one of these stories is authentic, touching, and inspirational and emphasizes the importance of continuing to meet Inner Explorer’s goal of reaching One Million Mindful Children.  Every story was received with empathy and a passion to help.  There is so much love and concern for teachers and students; each encounter was heartwarming.

There is a variety of other work in the field of mindfulness to help raise awareness of the benefits of a daily practice.  I had the opportunity to witness expert speakers, see and hear presentations of other efforts working with different audiences, and learn about future collaborations that will continue to emphasize the importance of mindful awareness.  The highlight of the conference for me was witnessing the telling of her life story by the musical artist Jewel. One of my biggest takeaways was when Jewel mentioned that she signs every email with the quote “We do not fight the darkness.  We are farmers of the light.”  This message encapsulates the idea of the work we do at Inner Explorer; we cannot destroy substance abuse, poverty, or the unhealthy living environments of every child.  But we can work each day to reach tens of thousands of children and give them the tools they need to survive stressful situations.  Let’s give our teachers peace and cultivate hope in our younger generation.  Let’s help our children develop a greater sense of self-worth and an enhanced sense of empathy and compassion for others.  Most importantly, let’s empower our teachers by creating an ideal environment for learning with a daily mindful awareness program so the students of today can break through the barriers that restrain them and replace them with an abundance of opportunities.  Let’s inspire an entire generation to become “farmers of the light.”

Multi-tasking vs. Mindfulness

I used to boast about my ability to multi-task, proud that I could get so much done simultaneously. Performing numerous activities at one time seemed to energize me and keep me more aware. I just didn't know what I was missing and it never struck me that the anxiety and depression I struggled with had anything to do with the way I was living my life.

One of my favorite quotes by Jon Kabat-Zinn is "We are human be-ings, not human do-ings." At that point in my life I was living like a human do-ing.

Now, as I drive and talk business on the phone, or when some other tasks converge at the same time, I notice an almost imperceptible disturbance. It's a very subtle awareness of how I am not present in all that I am doing, and I don't like it. I have felt I can feel this disturbance in my brain, although I thought I was imaging these sensations until I read this quote by neuroscientist Sara Lazar in the article Harvard neuroscientist: Meditation not only reduces stress, here's how it changes your brain: 

"We found long-term meditators have an increased amount of gray matter in the insula and sensory regions, the auditory and sensory cortex. Which makes sense. When you're mindful you're paying attention to your breathing, to sounds, to the present moment experience, and shutting cognition down. It stands to reason your senses would be enhanced."

I believe that the disturbance I describe above is actually recognition of my senses being overwhelmed as well as a diminished quality of my experience. So, while there are still times when I multi-task to some extent it is rarely to the Olympian standards it used to be and when anxiety or depression creep into my life I take time to sit with these states of being, which then quickly pass, instead of becoming larger than life, swallowing me up.

My job is to meditate

Ok, well my job isn't really to meditate. But at 53 I've found employment where I feel obligated to meditate. (A benefit with lifetime results better than a 401K or pension.) I tend to put other people's needs before my own. And sometimes that's a good thing. My (then) 3 year old daughter couldn't wait to grow up "so she could smoke like mommy".  So I quit smoking.  My daughter wanted to join a gym and needed a workout buddy, so I joined a gym. My husband wants to watch football on Sundays, so I became a Patriots fan. I admit sitting in front of the TV for 3 hours, having snacks and sipping cocktails is not as hard as quitting smoking or going to the gym. So now that mindfulness, self destressing and conscious calming are part of my JOB requirement—I'm committed. I'm not taking time for myself, it's for my job. Someday I hope to evolve enough as a person to admit that it feels good to do things for myself. Until then, I'll take my job responsibilities seriously, and meditate.  

Combating Stress

There is a critical factor that influences academic outcomes….that has nothing to do with academics……and even nothing to do with school.  That factor is stress! Extensive research suggests that stress (caused by poverty, trauma, technology overload, violence etc) significantly inhibits learning…….and is likely the root of the achievement gap and academic failure in at-risk communities.

From a neuro biology standpoint, when students come to the school with chronic stress, their cognitive resources shift from higher order thinking in the prefrontal cortex to lower order “fight or flight” in the limbic system. They become more reactive and less likely to be able to pay attention. The best teachers, best curriculum, best facilities will not get through. A child may be sitting in a seat in class, yet isn’t ready to learn

Our mission at Inner Explorer is to reduce stress so that students are ready to learn!  A daily mindfulness program helps to unlock academic success and foster well-being for millions of children.  Mindfulness is paying attention to the present moment non-judgmentally, and when done every day, it helps students build the capacity to focus, to be more self-aware and more resilient. 

Inner Explorer is designed to help facilitate the daily practice in just 10 minutes a day, 10 minutes a day.  Mindfulness has been shown to improve grades and test scores, to reduce suspensions, detentions and bullying, and maybe as importantly, to increase compassion and collaboration. (Parents even tell us that their kids don’t fight as much with each other at home).  Think of these practices as mental fitness to optimize brain function.  We relate this to brushing your teeth, you brush your teeth every day to keep them healthy and strong, same logic goes towards practicing mindfulness…you practice mindfulness every day to keep our minds healthy and strong. 

I’d like to tell you a story about a boy in Cleveland.  He was not a high achiever, in fact, you could say he struggled a bit with academics.  He and his mother and sister had just moved into a new housing unit when a drive by shooting had taken place.  His mom’s rented car got hit so she had to report the incident to the police.  The next day, this boy had come home and his mom was not there, she had been in the emergency room due to a visit from the shooters and a bottle broken over her head.  The following day in school, he had taken an exam and did pretty well.  His teacher, knowing his situation had asked him how he managed to do so well with all the stress he had at home and he said “mindfulness helps me to focus”.

Laura and I started this non-profit 5 years ago with the thought that if every child practiced mindfulness every day throughout their pre-K through 12 years, they would improve their academic success and their life success. The achievement gap and school to prison pipeline would be things for the history books. We believe, and initial research is showing, that mindfulness could be the most impactful social justice and peace initiative of our time. 

An Intentional 2017

A few weeks into January and you may be feeling frustrated over a lapsed New Year's Resolution. Don't despair. Over 40% of us make New Year’s resolutions despite the fact that only about 8% of us actually keep them.  Given this statistic, we might be tempted to rid ourselves of this annual ritual entirely. However, research informs us that if we do make a resolution, we are 10 times more likely to achieve our goal than if we do nothing at all. So, if we are unwilling to abandon our hope of change in the coming year, what happens if we make a New Year’s Intention instead? It's never too late.

Unlike a resolution, when we use the power of intention to create change, we move beyond conditioned and often unconscious, repetitive thinking that tends to keep us stuck in habitual ways of being. Since our thoughts inform our behavior, and the majority of our thoughts today are the same as yesterday, we quickly realize why our resolutions fail. According to research, when we shift instead to intention, we foster more lasting change, especially when we ground our intention in the awareness found in a mindfulness practice.

If we look deeper into the latin origins of the word intention, we find that it means to “turn one’s attention”, to “lean toward”. Where would you like to place your attention this year? What do you wish to lean toward in 2017? Whether our intentions are to foster closer relationships, create greater health and well-being or overcome a specific challenge, we approach our intentions as we would a mindfulness practice:  

• Attention: Once you’ve set your intention, you focus your attention on that which you wish to cultivate. In this present moment. Your attention may wander. You may become distracted by the activities of daily life. Whenever you notice that your attention has drifted away from your intention, gently guide it back, just as you do your breath during mindfulness practice. Practice self-compassion and patience as you return again, and again, to your intention.
• Non-Judgement: There will be moments, even days, where you stray from your intention. Positive or negative feelings may arise. Allow yourself the fullness of whatever you experience around your intention without judgement. Know that you can begin again in the next moment, with awareness, and the renewed commitment that resides in the settled mind.
• Beginner’s Mind: Approach your intention with curiosity. New experience and insights may arise to offer fresh perspective on your goals. You may unearth the unconscious forces that would have derailed a resolution. Curiosity offers the opportunity for new learning at every turn.
• Let go of Attachment: When we become rigidly attached to how the fulfillment of our intention may show up in our lives, we may miss all the wonderful and creative ways it is already unfolding. When we release our expectations, we lessen the frustration and disappointment that often accompanies a forced result. We can be surprised by and embrace the unexpected.

New Year’s Intentions grow from our deeper, essential desires. See where yours sprout from; a wish to be more connected, more generous, more playful? When we combine a regular mindfulness practice with the power of intention, we open ourselves to even more transformation and all the gifts the New Year has to offer. Inner Explorer created a special mindfulness practice to support you in making 2017 an Intentional New Year.

Lisa Grady is the Regional Director of Program Development and Outreach for Inner Explorer. You can reach her at lgrady@innerexplorer.org.